Tag Archive for: Diane Wilde

04/06/2023 “Schadenfreud. Do you ever experience this confounding state of mind?” with Diane Wilde

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Schadenfreud is defined as “taking delight in another’s misfortune”. And if we are honest with ourselves, we have all “enjoyed” our own schadenfreuden moments, especially when someone we dislike experiences an unfortunate turn of events. Inexplicably, we can also experience schadenfreud when a friend experiences some bad luck. Schadenfreud also makes an appearance when someone else finds great happiness in their personal or professional lives and we haven’t. In this instance, we believe the good fortune of others deprives us of our own… as if there is only so much joy to go around.

Schadenfreud is also the opposite — the “far far enemy” — of the third brahmavihara, mudita. Mudita is described as “joy in the happiness of others.” This state of joy in the happiness of others is also called “Freudenfreud”.

What social psychological research reports is that schadenfreud exacerbates depression and anxiety for those who frequently find themselves in this state of mind. Freudenfreud does the opposite. Not succumbing to schadenfreud isn’t easy since in our duplicitous world it is a tool to capture interest. It is used to sell us everything, from movies to goods and services.

Tonight we will learn a few practical methods for decreasing schadenfreud and elevating mudita or freudenfreud in our lives, thus increasing our own contentment and ease.

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02/02/2023 “Would you recognize an enlightened person?” with Diane Wilde

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Would you recognize an enlightened person? This is a question that was asked frequently by people in the Buddha’s time as well as in today’s world. You might have been inspired by a teacher or a Dharma acquaintance, and wondered if that person might be “awake”. But how would you know? What are the criteria? Are the criteria the Buddha spoke about relevant today? What about those who claim to have transcendent knowledge?

Conversely, If we are not inspired by a particular Dharma acquaintance or a teacher, does that mean we ignore what they have to say because we don’t see them on the road to enlightenment?

In tonight’s talk we’ll investigate what the Buddha had to say regarding “encountering an awakened being”, beginning with a conversation he had with King Pasenadi. King Pasenadi was also puzzled on who was on the road to enlightenment and who wasn’t and how could he tell?

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01/05/2023 “Who Am I If I Am Not Special?” with Diane Wilde

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One of the main characteristics of delusion is being totally identified as a Special Me. Starting with our name, our history, and our self-image, all of these enable us to solidify the sense that we are living a separate, subtly significant and special life. Interestingly, our feeling of specialness is not just from having positive qualities; our suffering too can also make us feel unique. “I am the most victimized”, “I never lived up to my potential” “No one understands me” and so many other self-narratives create a Special Me. Not needing to be special, not needing to be any particular way, is what it means to be free—free to experience our most authentic self. Tonight, we will discuss the traditional methods for breaking thru this delusion, as well as some practical everyday exercises.

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12/01/2022 “20th Anniversary Celebration” with SIM Teachers

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Sacramento Insight Meditation is celebrating 20 years as a sangha! We have come a long way since the start in 2002 and will be commemorating the anniversary at a special event on December 1, 2022. Our esteemed teachers, Dennis Warren, Diane Wilde, Rich Howard, and special guest, John Travis, will be there in person to share memories of their involvement in SIM. Kamala Masters and Steve Armstrong will also be joining us via Zoom. The meditation portion of the evening will be shortened a bit to have time for cake and tea afterwards. This will also be an opportunity to socialize with one another.

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10/06/2022 “Fear of Freedom” with Diane Wilde with Eric Clark

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Everybody talks about freedom, demands freedom, struggles for freedom and are willing to fight for freedom. Freedom is in the news; people make stirring speeches insisting they be given their freedom. Demanding freedom is a much easier task than actually experiencing and practicing true freedom. Perhaps this is because true freedom can be frightening, painful and disorienting.  As Janice Joplin sang: “Freedom is just another word for nothing left to lose.” There is a lot of wisdom in that phrase.

Incarcerated people and ”returning citizens” who crave freedom may be the best source of understanding how we long for freedom, and yet find in the traditional sense, it is not what we/they expected.  Please join us for this important discussion.

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08/27/2022 “Death As Our Teacher” with Ayya Santacitta and Diane Wilde

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Just as life is happening all around us, so is death. Human beings appear to be the only species that are conscious of our mortality. Yet most people ignore this fact of our existence, preferring to put efforts, thoughts and practice on “more pleasant things”. We want to “wake up”, to let go of our endless attachments and experience contentment and ease in our lives. Paradoxically, facing the death of our loved ones and ourselves, is one of the classic Buddhist teachings for accepting the truth of existence and waking up to impermanence. It is also a teaching that can greatly reduce and perhaps even eliminate the biggest delusion of all… that everyone else will die, except me.
This daylong retreat may not be suitable for those with anxiety, trauma or those who have recently experienced the death of a loved one.

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08/04/2022 “Coping With Loneliness” with Diane Wilde

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There is no denying it… loneliness is an epidemic in our world today. Ironically, the more diversions that come our way, i.e. access to entertainment, social media, easy access to shopping — apparently the lonelier we are becoming. Out of loneliness, we create stories about ourselves which are often distorted, which lead to further suffering. How can we address the issue of loneliness effectively? Can loneliness be eliminated in our lives? Should it? What can loneliness teach us about truly connecting with ourselves and as well as establishing meaningful connections with others? A lot to consider!

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07/07/2022 “I’m Bored… What to Do!” with Diane Wilde

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Do you find yourself easily bored? Or do you sometimes feel like a boring person?
In daily life, when we’re bored or feel that we are no longer interesting, we’re uncomfortable with our basic state of being. It’s an unsettled feeling, often bringing up thoughts such as “What is my purpose?” or “Why aren’t I doing something important?” Boredom can easily morph into loneliness and the suffering that comes from feeling disconnected from others. We also associate this emotion with restlessness/anxiety and when taken to an extreme, boredom is often blamed for addictive behavior and even violence.
We often find ourselves “bored”while we meditate. Boredom is often internally translated as “I’m not doing this right”, which leads us to compare ourselves to others creating more suffering. It’s an uncomfortable mental state that we rarely investigate. We just want it to go away and get back to enjoying a “good” meditation.
The good news is that boredom can be our gateway into truly understanding ourselves, both in daily life and on the cushion. It can even lead to enhanced creativity! We will discuss how we can transform boredom from restlessness and anxiety, to insight and happiness.

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05/26/2022 “Is it possible to be ’empty’ of self in daily life?” with Diane Wilde

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Resolving the conflict between a “healthy ego” and the Buddhist goal of experiencing the truth of “no permanent abiding self” can be a confusing process. Yet, if we don’t undertake the process, our suffering continues. For example, we sit on our cushions cultivating patience and tolerance, yet in our daily life we find ourselves frustrated with others’ opinions that do not reliably conform to our way of thinking. The Buddhist solution is to explore the path which leads towards understanding and experiencing “no permanent abiding self.” Not easy in a world which cannot even agree on basic scientific truths. We will discuss some practical applications for the cultivation of “no permanent self”, or “emptiness,” on the cushion and in daily life.

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03/31/2022 “The Paradox of Shame” with Diane Wilde

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We all experience shame.  It is a universal emotion with some social scientists and psychologists saying it is an innate human trait, and others insisting it evolved within our social fabric. It is considered an absolutely essential emotion in some societies, and yet, is also frequently considered mentally damaging. The causes of shame have dramatically changed, from lack of adherence to prescriptive social mores of the past, to shaming of individuals on social media today. The Buddha also taught about shame (hiri) and its companion, the dread of shame (ottapa). Shame and the reasons for shame as taught by the Buddha are quite different then the “shaming” we experience in contemporary society. We will discuss this complex emotion, its history and why it is an important, yet often overlooked Buddhist teaching.

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