The Challenge of Practicing Nonattachment as a Lay Person

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Monks and ascetics in the Buddha’s time practiced non-attachment which meant leaving wives, husbands, parents, children, and society. Contemporary monastics also take on the homeless life which the Buddha said was necessary for complete “awakening.” Where does this leave lay people? Lay people value the teachings, but there is confusion about practicing non-attachment in everyday life. How can we keep ourselves free from attachment with those beings we care about… pets, partners, children, grandchildren, good friends. Tonight we will look at how lay people can practice with the challenge of attachment in our relationships, in order for our practice to grow — with the hope of achieving true freedom.

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The mind tends to solidify experience and to grasp for security in comfort, familiarity, and habitual patterns. This is natural, a long-established pattern to help negotiate a complex world in the face of threats and unknowns. Even our language reinforces this dependence on solid objects versus processes, using nouns to translate words that are verbs in Pali, the original language of the early Buddhist texts. This talk will expand on the theme of investigating the concept of “self” that all three SIM faculty explored in February. Be prepared to share insights you may have received in working with this area of practice.

Insight Meditation: A Psychology of Freedom” by Joseph Goldstein and “Crazy Wisdom” by Chögyam Trungpa

Books referenced in this talk

The Relationship Between Emptiness and Suchness

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When we understand that direct experience is not solid/not separate, we can embrace experience in it’s changing conditionality with the heart of compassion and inclusion born of non-clinging. This is the inter-weaving of the teachings of Emptiness and Suchness, and the Talk will explore teachings and practices which support us to live from this Wiser View.

“Insight” – It’s Meaning, Importance & Role in Practice

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“Insight” is considered the prime motivation and culmination of Buddhist practice because it leads to satisfaction, peace and happiness. It does this through liberating the mind and body from confusion, struggle and suffering. The importance of Insight is illustrated by this fact: if you remove Insight from practice, it is no longer Buddhist practice.
The talk and discussion this evening will focus on the meaning, importance and role of different types of Insight in practice and daily life.
We’ll look at the differences between cognitive, or thought-based, insight and insight that is based on our own, non-conceptual, direct-experience, particularly our experience in day-to-day events and relationships. We’ll explore those insights that are considered conventional, relative, or personal with those traditionally considered universal, non-personal and “liberating.”
The subject matter of this evening is directly relevant and applicable for all stages of practice.

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To download this talk, right-click and select ‘save audio as’ or select the 3-dot menu to the right of the speaker icon.

After a year of pandemic isolation, we are slowly returning to “normal.” Many of us are now vaccinated, or will be soon, we are venturing out with friends and we might look forward to travel, eating out, movies, or long absent hugs. However, “normal” isn’t easily defined. Each individual is unique due to biology, personality and the causes and conditions that make up a life. Societies are different depending on values, cultural mores, spiritual traditions, political ideologies, and historical background. So, is there a universal “normal?” Is “normal” an achievable state? We will discuss what the Buddha and contemporary teachers have to say about striving for normalcy.

How to Practice with the Bahiya Sutta: Non-Reactivity at the Sense Doors

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Here is the Sutta version that Heather used in this talk:

In the seen there is only the seen,
in the heard, there is only the heard,
in the sensed there is only the sensed,
in the cognized there is only the cognized:
This, Bāhiya, is how you should train yourself.

When, Bāhiya, there is for you
in the seen only the seen,
in the heard, only the heard,
in the sensed only the sensed,
in the cognized only the cognized,
then, Bāhiya, there is no ‘you’
in connection with that.

When, Bāhiya, there is no ‘you’
in connection with that,
there is no ‘you’ there.”

When, Bāhiya, there is no ‘you’ there,
then, Bāhiya, you are neither here
nor there
nor in between the two.
This, just this, is the end of suffering.

Ud 1.10

Loving-Kindness (Metta) – Elaborations & Further Guidance from the Historical Buddha

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Our usual understanding of Loving-Kindness (Metta) comes from the Historical Buddha’s Karaniya Metta Sutta. In contrast, the most popular and widely used instructions on how to practice Loving-Kindness were not taught by the Historical Buddha. They were developed by others, and adopted as skillful forms of practice, long after his death.
It turns out the Historical Buddha provided elaboration and further guidance on the experience of Loving-Kindness, what it is and how to develop our capacity to experience it in a number of other talks. These are a value source of help in gaining a fuller, deeper, richer understanding of this pivotal quality of heart and the role it can play in our individual lives, in community and in the larger world. This is what we’ll explore Thursday evening.
You are encouraged to read this Karaniya Metta Sutta – The Metta Sutta several times, s l o w l y, as preparation for this evening. It’s well worth the effort. Topic headings have been added to support reading and understanding the sutta.
The subject matter of this evening is appropriate for all stages of practice. All that is necessary is showing up with an open, curious mind.

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When the generous lay supporter of the Buddha, Anathapindika, was ill near the end of his life, he was visited by the renowned monk Sariputta who offered him what was then considered an advanced training (for lay people anyway) on not clinging. In this talk, we will explore and discuss this teaching and compare it with some other teachings in a similar vein. You are welcome to read the sutta ahead of time (Majjhima Nikaya 143), although that is certainly not required.

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Conceit (“māna” in Pali) has a special meaning in the Buddha’s teachings; it has a broader and more profound definition than “stuck up”… the definition we usually associate with this word. Conceit in Buddhism can mean feeling superior, inferior, or the same as others. In other words, it is our habitual comparison of ourselves to others. Conceit is also the delusion that our experiences ARE ourselves, and that our self has boundaries and solid substance. According to the Pali canon, conceit is among the last defilements to fall away before full awakening. It is subtle and difficult to observe within ourselves… much easier to see in others! When we begin to experience conceit as it really is, we also begin understand and experience anatta: “No permanent self”.